I Don’t Care

I don’t care that you won’t return my calls.

I don’t care that our friendship is over.

I don’t care that you act as if you don’t know me anymore.

I don’t care if it bothers you that I am autistic.

I don’t care!

I don’t care that you question who I am now that you know my secret.

I don’t care that you question your inability to see me all these years.

I don’t care that I somehow found the courage to tell you and you did not receive my words well.

I don’t care that you have no compassion for me.

I don’t care!

I don’t care that most of my family shuns me. They were never there for me anyway.

I don’t care that the illusion you stew in is bitter to the taste.

I don’t care that you blame me for all that has happened to me.

I don’t care that you think I’m stupid, incapable and slow even though I am smart. You don’t know me.

I don’t care!

I don’t care that you’d rather point your finger and stare at me, rather than have a conversation with me.

I don’t care that I am an embarrassment to you.

I don’t care that you can’t understand why I don’t care about fashion.

I don’t care that I’m not interested in “normal” things like you.

I don’t care!

 

But I do care that I am a great mom to my autistic son.

I do care that there are those who see me as trustworthy and innocent.

I do care that I have feelings and empathy, more than most.

I do care about how I see myself.

I love me and I love my son.

I love you even though you don’t love me.

I care that you are closed minded, because it hurts you.

I care that you are judgmental because you miss out on knowing wonderful people.

I care that the one’s you call friend are not loyal to you like I was. They judge you harshly like you judge me.

I do care for all of you more than you will ever know. You will never know because you don’t think I’m able, but I am.

I will care for you and all of your flaws because I know what it is to be flawed.

I will cry for you because you do not know true happiness, peace or freedom, like I do.

I will pray for you that your heart beats with love and not hate for that which you do not understand.

I have hope for you that one day you will understand and be a better human being for it.

I still don’t care what you think of me. I am who I am and I make no apologies for it. I will never hurt you like you hurt me. That is the biggest difference between YOU and me.

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2 responses to “I Don’t Care”

  1. Juli says :

    Honestly, just brilliant!

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