Expression without Protocol
On the spectrum is where I reside.
It’s where I learned what to say…how to act.
Robotic and monotone,
Actions never quite my own,
Repeating myself verbatim with same inflection…an undesired reaction,
Words borrowed from parental scripts.
I sit motionless…expressionless…mostly seen as less than,
Rather than, being treated like the rest and…
I open my mouth to scream, but no sound comes out.
Thoughts racing through my mind,
So much I want to share;
Do I dare?
Peers frown upon,
May even look down on,
Managing to talk down to,
But never getting around to,
Learning who I am.
So, here I am.
Gifted…still somewhat scripted,
Fumbling with choice,
Struggling daily to find my own voice;
Remembering all that I’ve been taught;
Haunted by past transgressions,
Finding my way towards speaking freely,
By way of constantly seeking…
Expression with meaning…