Expression without Protocol

On the spectrum is where I reside.

It’s where I learned what to say…how to act.

Robotic and monotone,

Actions never quite my own,

Repeating myself verbatim with same inflection…an undesired reaction,

Words borrowed from parental scripts.

I sit motionless…expressionless…mostly seen as less than,

Rather than, being treated like the rest and…

I open my mouth to scream, but no sound comes out.

Thoughts racing through my mind,

So much I want to share;

Do I dare?

Peers frown upon,

May even look down on,

Managing to talk down to,

But never getting around to,

Learning who I am.

So, here I am.

Gifted…still somewhat scripted,

Fumbling with choice,

Struggling daily to find my own voice;

Remembering all that I’ve been taught;

Communication’s raught.

Haunted by past transgressions,

Troubling instructions,

Finding my way towards speaking freely,

By way of constantly seeking…

Finally achieving;

Expression with meaning…

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